Canadians On the Run

I can still remember the good old days when GI’s would try to disguise their appearance as an English teacher in Itaewon to avoid curfew, well now the English teachers may need to start disguising their appearance as GIs:

Nearly 50 English teachers from Canada have been detained, deported or investigated on allegations of visa fraud in South Korea, a country seeking to purge itself of young Westerners increasingly regarded as unqualified, unruly and unwelcome. Long a magnet for foreigners drawn to working overseas, Korea has arrested hundreds of them in the past couple of weeks. Immigration officials have been rounding up dozens of teachers at their homes, work, or at the airports. While as many as 10,000 foreigners legally teach the language at private English schools in Korea, the nation’s media have been full of exposes about teachers with dubious credentials. Many of the foreign teachers, if not most, are Canadian.

Is this crack down bad enough to describe it like this?

Like many Canadians interviewed, he said that Koreans have an innate xenophobia that has hardened of late. “There has been a definite change in the way we’re being perceived in the last nine or 10 months,” he said. “Before, it was, ‘Please speak me English.’ Now, it’s ‘Get out of my country, white devils.’ ” (…) “People basically think all foreign teachers are drunks and molesters who can’t get a job back home,” said the teacher who helps run the Internet board for expats.

This article makes it sound like there is a Korean gestapo on the loose trying to put English teachers into reeducation camps. In the spirit of international cooperation I offer my advice to the fugitive English teachers on how to blend in as an American soldiers to avoid the Korean gestapo that this article leads one to believe is rampaging through this country.

First of all, the long hair has got to go. Shave your hair high and tight. Then you need to start wearing some Fubu clothing preferably very baggy. If you don’t like Fubu than you can always a Nascar jacket. Both are dead give aways for GIs. Then buy a big black backpack to carry around with you. Since the vast majority of GIs cannot drive cars here we rely on these big black bags to carry things in when we go out. The black backpacks are probably the most notable feature of US GIs.

Also travel in groups since GIs tend to travel in groups due to the battle buddy policy. Plus whatever you do don’t stay out pass midnight when the USFK curfew takes effect. You won’t stand a chance of avoiding the gestapo then. You also need to sun tan with a beret on to get that tan line on your head that only a beret can give you. Finally to top off the image and really fool the gestapo wear one of those knock off Yankees ball caps they sell in all the villes. The Gestapo would never think that a Canadian would be caught dead wearing a Yankees ball cap. That would really fool them.

With these few simple tips, you should be able to avoid the Korean gestapo and buy enough time to make your escape from the country. That is if it is really that bad to begin with.

Hat Tip: Japundit