Toby Dawson's Biological Parents Found
Does anyone remember this story about Olympic bronze medallist Toby Dawson’s search for his biological parents in Korea? When the search first started Toby Dawson briefly became the Anna Nicole of Korea when every man in Korea was claiming to be his dad and Dawson had to leave Korea to escape the media pressure of being Hines Ward-lite. It is now proven that a man from Pusan who claimed to be his dad is in fact his father:
According to the DNA test, Kim Jae-su is with more than 99 percent probability the father of the Korean-American skier, who was adopted in the U.S. 26 years ago. The test was conducted by DNA test firm HumanPass at the request of the Korea Tourism Organization late last month. The KTO was asked for a DNA test by Dawson when it contacted the skier to name him as an honorary ambassador for the state-run tourism organization. Kim accepted the DNA test and came to Seoul to present six hairs and epithelial cells from the mouth on Feb. 3.
Here are pictures of Toby Dawson, Mr. Kim, and Mr. Kim’s Son. There is definitely a strong family resemblance.
This is how Mr. Kim said that he had originally lost his son in Pusan:
Kim lost his son in 1981, when the boy became separated from his mother in the crowd at a local market. Dawson was found near the same place and taken to an orphanage, where he lived until he was adopted by an American couple.
The Kims say they searched high and low for their lost son. “I didn’t think reporting it to the police would be of any help, so I went around looking for him myself,†Kim said. The couple covered most orphanages and markets in the city but could only search on their days off and got around on foot or by bus, so their progress was slow.
This is something he will have to explain to Toby Dawson, but how hard were you looking when your son was sitting in a local orphanage? Sad story, but things have worked out well for Toby Dawson and I wish him the best.Â
I have to admit I find the dad's story a bit strange, but in any case, it is a joyful reunion.
The more likely story:
"Kim lost his son in 1981, when he ditched the boy in the crowd at a local market. Dawson was found near the same place and taken to an orphanage, where he lived until he was adopted by an American couple.
Kim didn't give a shit until 2007, when he found out a famous athlete might actually be the kid he ditched. Hoping to cash in on his biological son's fame, Kim made up a BS story about "losing" his son and carrying out a half-assed search."
What I'd like to know is where is the mother? News article says father declines to comment on mother?
I believe there is more to this story as well and I'm sure Toby Dawson thinks the same thing, but it is doubtful we will ever get to hear the whole story.
The parents were divorced and the mother remarried prior to Toby's being placed in an orphanage, which makes the theory that he was abandoned even more plausible. Happily for Tony, he was raised by a loving family who provided him with opportunities he wouldn't have enjoyed as a child of divorced parents in Korea.
after reading Toby Dawson story I was deeply hurt. I am not able to have a child and I am currently adopting from Korea. To hear that "Korean children should stay in Korea," breaks my heart and makes me think that Toby was ungrateful. The adoption process is intrusive and very difficult especially after infertility. To make it sound as if he was better off in an orphanage in Korea and maybe his dad would eventually find him is living in a land of make believe. He received love and privilege ski lessons from a family who really wanted him. Who adopts a toddler? Many people preferred babies. Why did he make it sound as if only Koreans should adopt when nobody in Korea adopted him? Maybe I should not bother with Korea if the adoptees are sooo dissatisfied with their lives in the U.S.
Is it better to be raised in an orphanage or in a loving home?
What about Toby's adoptive parents, it is a great loss not to be able to bear one's own children but to raise a child who looks different than you and give that child so much love. How can Toby say that Korean abandoned children should be kept in Korea? He problem with identity is small compared to kids with cancer and kids who lose their parent and are raised in foster homes and in orphanages without never meeting their parents. Life goes on and people should adopt from Korea. Why does Toby want to destroy abandoned children in Korea by keeping them in orphanages when they can be raised in loving, warm homes.
I may be putting too much of a spin here so let me know if it gets a bit dizzy.
Toby's father claimed that when he visited the orphanage, they would not let him past the gate to even check if his boy was there. Foreign adoption is a HUGE business in Korea. I can see an orphanage guarding their potentially profitable 'merchandise' from being returned to its rightful parent.
As for Toby's quote, I think it is being taken out of context. Toby is greatful and thankful about his circumstances, but he is also very aware of the psychy of the adopted. In fact growing up in a remote area of CO, he rarely saw or interacted with anyone other than whites (except his younger adopted brother, KC). This is why Toby holds a ski school in CO where he invites kids of inter-racial adopted families, so that they too have a feeling of belonging that he feels uniquely.
I think being an adoptive kid is hard. Being the only Asian kid in an American school is hard. Combine the two and life becomes that much more difficult. Toby mentions in one of the interview with his adoptive mother that he would come home from school some days and cry in her lap, desparately seeking an affirmative answer to whether he was really born from her stomach like the other kids in school.
To adoptees, there is a life-long question mark that will never be answered unless there is closure. Abandoned or not, at least Toby has a chance for closure.
I personally don't think that Toby was abandoned but rather lost.
Evidence is that his younger biological brother was never abandoned or adopted.
If the circumstance of the family was that bad, they would have rather abandoned the second born or both of them, not the first over the second.
I think what Toby was trying to say about keeping Corean babies in Corea was a commentary of the Corean Social/Child Welfare System. Corea is no longer the country recovering from the devastation of the Corean war but rather a prosperous country. The Corean government needs to take responsibility of their children and provide for them just as well as they feel the need to provide for their elderly, infrastructure, etc.
Do you think that Toby's mother & father, who gave birth to him, nursed him, bathed him, and fed him until he was three gave him up willingly without an ache in her/his heart that will never go away until the day she/he dies. If they did abandoned him, it was out of poverty, it was out of shame of divorce. Corean society needed to and needs to do more for the poor, change their unforgiving attitude about unwed mothers and divorce that force women and men to abandon their children so that they can go and hope and pray for a better future for their children. We all know that the best place for a child is with kin; that's why children placed in foster care in NYC are made sure that they are placed within their community district (in neighborhoods that they are familiar with and if at all possible in a kinship homes-they pay uncles, aunts, grandmothers, grandfathers, older sisters and brothers to alleviate the cost because they are better off with kin.) This was not the case of severe child abuse but more likely poverty and a marriage that didn't work out. Toby was not an orphan; you adopt orphans, not lost children (not victims of poverty and not victims of society's scorn.)
And yes, PSL is right, I've heard of children who were never abandoned but rather abducted for the money.
This is the fault of the Corean government and society. they need to step up and stop the trafficking of our babies/children.